Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
