6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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