did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i dont even know how to be here
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
