Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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