I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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