Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
