Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
