I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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