Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
