Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
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