I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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