weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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