Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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