I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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