Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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