Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
