I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
