I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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