I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
