Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
