I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
