I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
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You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
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He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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