Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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