I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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