i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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