does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
