bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not