Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  he wasnt completely random

  (914): View more from New York

  you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i get things done.

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  (201): he wasnt completely random (914): you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont (201): i get things done. http://tfl.nu/5ew9
  Replies (14) Good night (1454) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab

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  (312): i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab http://tfl.nu/kluh
  Replies (18) Good night (2920) Bad night (961)
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  (489): View more from

  watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .

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  (489): watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on . http://tfl.nu/coqw
  Replies (48) Good night (6019) Bad night (1232)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think

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  (304): Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think http://tfl.nu/bm7u
  Replies (16) Good night (736) Bad night (4294)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"

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  (734): What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?" http://tfl.nu/tcpf
  Replies (26) Good night (3413) Bad night (1381)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?

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  (614): Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team? http://tfl.nu/idfg
  Replies (12) Good night (3800) Bad night (1362)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.

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  (509): You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed. http://tfl.nu/gs8p
  Replies (7) Good night (1329) Bad night (1006)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!

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  (607): I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud! http://tfl.nu/toc7
  Replies (7) Good night (4213) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.

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  (803): Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class. http://tfl.nu/uw6v
  Replies (5) Good night (1056) Bad night (1355)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.

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  (706): after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius" (404): I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off. http://tfl.nu/115h
  Replies (3) Good night (2514) Bad night (665)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.

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  (303): Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face. http://tfl.nu/mcx6
  Replies (7) Good night (1833) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing

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  (818): I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing http://tfl.nu/hijc
  Replies (6) Good night (1096) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.

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  (865): Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville. http://tfl.nu/d4yv
  Replies (3) Good night (815) Bad night (395)
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  (661): View more from California

  my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework

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  (661): my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework http://tfl.nu/653l
  Replies (2) Good night (630) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.

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  (305): I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded. http://tfl.nu/y2ba
  Replies (2) Good night (231) Bad night (114)

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