A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
