Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
