Don't you send me to vm
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
