hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
