i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
