She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
