it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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