Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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