ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
