well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
She even gives head with a lisp.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
