He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
