im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
