I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize