My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
