Just took my morning after pill in the library
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
