The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
