Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I met the friendliest cop last night
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
