Whod you bang
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
