He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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