They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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