So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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