How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
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I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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