i think my mom watched the whole time
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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