I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize