I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You pole danced in your parka.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
