I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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