I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
