Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
