She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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