so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
