dude i'm inner monologue high
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
