Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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