okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
