Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
