youre lurking in front of me
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My life is pants optional.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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