I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
